Thank You Jackie, My Dear Old Friend

Jackie Elfvin and Family

My old friend Jackie Elfvin (3rd row, plum top) and her family

I just had to share this note that I just received from Jackie, one of my dear old friends. She was part of the little band of wives and mothers who gathered for countless play dates, dinner parties, and holidays during our young-mother years, and later for Saturday morning coffees and “porch nights” when, as middle-aged parents, we met on summer Sunday evenings on the huge porch at Jackie’s house, tiny white lights twinkling under the towering trees, to share wine (and unhealthy snacks), and do a fair amount of shaking our heads and laughing at ourselves as we talked about our children and our lives to date. (We all, always, referred to her house as “Jackie’s house,” a source of amusement because Jackie and her husband Bruce were – and are still – happily married and great partners in their marriage. But – it was “Jackie’s house,” a fact which Bruce accepted with good humor.) Jackie was at my original croning, and this is what she shared with me today:

My first reaction when you wrote that you were doing Women At Woodstock was…gee, all those other women will have had such interesting lives and mine was/is so……not. That’s how I’ve always felt, like who would want to hear my story? (Least of all my children.) But as I get older, I wonder. We need to tell our story. (And I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up, my dear.) Then I remember my favorite poem, A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson: “We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world.”

When I’m feeling wimpy and insecure, the words of this poem empower me beyond anything else. It can change me in an instant. If you don’t know it, go find it.

The friends here don’t get together as much as we used to when the kids were around. The girlfriends still try to get away 2x a year, spring and fall. The last few years we’ve been renting the house at Lakeside, which is wonderful. We still have our porch nights in the summer, which speeds by as quickly as all good things. I’m sending you hugs, and I wish you much success with WAW!

What a great send-off. Thank you Jackie!

I’m starting to pack now… I’ll see everyone soon at Women At Woodstock 2012!


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