Last Thursday in my weekly post on the Roommates4Boomers blog, I talked about how I wasn’t sure how I was going to get everything done that I’d like to get done – this in contrast to the seemingly persistent view of the “retiree” as an aimless old soul, shuffling about life without purpose or drive. I know I’m not alone in asking “Who the hell is that? No one I know!”
I need help like a kid in a candy store – what to choose, which first, how to pick the best and enjoy it the most, and most of all, how to have it all – yes, all!? The passing years don’t bring a sense of slowing down and not wanting to do much anymore. They bring mounting panic.
I found a resource that I thought might help me – and you too – if you’re feeling a growing pressure and scattered feeling when you think about trying to get everything done that you want to do.
Dr. Travis Bradberry, author of the best-selling Emotional Intelligence 2.0, offers five steps that he says he uses to organize and declutter his mind, find flow, and keep himself on track for a productive day every day. Well, bully for him. I would like to try to achieve just one or two of those objectives with semi-daily regularity, knock on wood. So here goes: Dr. Bradberry’s wisdom in a nutshell:
1. Don’t Let It Be Too Hard Or Too Easy
When the task at hand is either too difficult or too simple, says Dr. Bradberry, you tend to lose focus. Um, what? I’m sorry, but how do you choose, exactly, just the right task for yourself? Life isn’t an occupational therapy class.
On to item number 2.
2. Control Your Emotions
You can’t actually control how you’re feeling, says the doctor, but make it a practice to be honest about what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it. From there, it’s just a matter of channeling your emotions into the behavior that you want. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Have you not come up against an angry, frustrated 63-year-old woman, doctor? My advice is, just stay out of my way. Thank you.
3. Keep Focused
The good doctor says it takes about twenty minutes to get fully immersed in a task, and once you’ve reached that sweet spot, you’re cooking. Yesssss, welllll… probably there is scientific evidence that this is true, but not in my house. I have the matter of the phone that rings 19 times a day from telemarketers and scam calls. In an effort to stop the automated add-to-call-back-list-if-they-pick-up cycle, I just let it ring. ANNOY-ing! Then there is the UPS guy who, if he has a package for me, sprints up the walk, beep-beeps with his scanner gun, bangs the package down, and then pounds on the door in a rapid one-two. It’s like a fighter’s punch to the brain. Then there’s my 88-year-old next door neighbor, Janet, whom I dearly love, and if she calls me – which is rare – my heart pounds and I’m grabbing the phone and jumping up and stumbling for the door all at once. Then there’s Owen, in the backyard behind ours, age 5, who must, I mean absolutely MUST Tarzan-yell upon being released into the wilds of the back garden every day. It’s delightfully free and I cannot NOT hear it. Ya gotta laugh. Then there are my daughters, one of whom lives in Cleveland and one in Cape Town, South Africa. If either calls, I have to take it – I mean I HAVE TO. Those calls are food for my soul, gold for my emotional bank account, always good for a great laugh no matter what’s going in their lives good or bad. They’re just damned funny and I love them. I’m not gonna miss their calls.
If I want to really, really focus, I go to Starbucks. There, the people and the sounds swirl around me, I am invisible, and I get shit done like crazy.
4. Take Breaks
The recommended work cycle for greatest productivity is 52 minutes of work followed by 17 minutes of break time. I’m down with that. But, but… a really, really refreshing break is watching the next one in the Law & Order The Original Series episodes that I have lined up on my DVR in chronological order. That’s 42 minutes right there. (I’m not a time waster; I speed through the commercials. (Whiny voice.)) Does that make me three times more productive, or three times less? I wonder, but I don’t care.
5. Shift Back Into Your Work Quickly After Your Break
Like, he says, do steps 1 through 3 really really fast… and you can get back to another productive 52 minutes of work right quick. Yeah, I would, but by now, if I’ve shifted gears, no doubt I’ve misplaced my glasses, or I need to print out a shipping label for something that sold on eBay while I was watching good ol’ Jerry Orbach, or I need to check all my clients’ folders for email, or the back door to Owen’s house slams and here he comes.
My advice for this whole productivity thing? Soldier on. That is all.
Love this! Big difference again in the thinking of men vs women. I’m w you-62 and if I’m in motion get out of my way! Oh the ‘break’ thing sooooo doesn’t work fo me. Have 2 speeds, manic & semi-comatose.
Ha! And I thought the manic/semi-comatose pattern was just me! A steady well-paced life I do not lead…
Humans intake and process information in diverse ways, so it is not surprising that how-to lists that include our emotions are best viewed as suggestions. In my Art of Paying Attention workshops, I offer people the opportunity to experience their natural surroundings by engaging separate senses. Doing so not only hones awareness, but also shows each person what paths are most inviting to them. Maybe you “hear” what I say or “see” what I say. The end product is that you understand, but how you achieve that understanding is personal, not a universal template.
I love love love this brilliant and funny post Ann! I don’t worry about getting old. I too worry about accomplishing all I have in mind before I leave this world. I have to be productive! I so relate to your dilemma. And life is full of distractions and a lot of them are worth your time because they give life meaning. I too will soldier on doing the best I can at getting things done and bringing many layers of fulfillment and growth to my life. I shall not not go quietly and organized in to that good night. Thanks so much for your great perspective. We need to talk about this more as women.
Ann, you did it again. Hit the proverbial nail on the proverbial head. My head, however, is real. I laughed out loud at the mention of hiding out in America’s second living room. If you don’t mind, I am going to share the 52 minute concentration “limit” with the ones who had me sit through a 5 hour orientation two weeks ago with, mind you, a “working” lunch. Then they turned around and required I sit through a 3 hour Web Ex meeting (that’s right) on Open Meeting Law and Conlict of Interest. No break. Fortunately, my grandson was visiting and knew how to set up the computer and the phone.
Yup….74 and almost retired and I am about to give those people a piece of my mind but….oh they are going to say that I am a crabby old woman.
One thing for sure….boomer or “early” boomer we are not docile old women. You go, girl.
Wow – thank you thank you! And to you too: You go, girl!
Ann, I love it. This came at the perfect time for me as I sit here reading this blog instead of getting an ad ready for a workshop. I am so pumped by all the possibilities I am facing now that I am “refocused”, ironically, I can’t decide what to do first. I say my grateful prayers everyday for all these possibilities and the universe delivers even more. At one time I would shudder when hearing people who were retired say “I’m so busy now I don’t know how I ever got anything done when I worked”. So I offer my humble apologies for judging you all who ever said that to me. Now, I am living such magic by doing all the things I could never do when I worked…..that I don’t know “how I am going to get all the sh*! done I want to do”. What a beautiful problem to have.
Oh, wow, I fear that I had too the same internal ageist reaction when I was young and I heard “old” people say thinks like that. Yes, humbling thought. Well, so it is and here we are – and living life full speed ahead!