Author: Ann Voorhees Baker

“Open When You Need Encouragement to Take Risk”

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“Open When You Need Encouragement to Take Risk”

I received a strange envelope addressed to me in my own handwriting. “What the hell is this?” I thought.

I’d forgotten all about writing that letter nine months earlier at the Women At Woodstock retreat. It was during one of our Evening Salons, when Diane Baranello led a thoughtful discussion about making change in ones’ life; going in a new direction that we haven’t allowed ourselves to go before. She handed out little letter cards, one for each of us. She said, “On the flap of your card, you’ll see I’ve written a prompt or a question. Think about it, then write yourself a letter about it. Then seal it up, address it to yourself, and give it back to me.”

The note on the flap of my card said, “Open when you need encouragement to take risk.”

Here’s what I’d written:

You have taken many risks in your life. Some have turned out well. Some have not. But the only times that things have changed were the times when you took risks.

What have you lost your nerve to risk? Is it something new, or something you’ve wanted, planned, and committed to do, over and over again?

Whichever it is, it is time. Do it now.

Isn’t it true that as you’ve grown older, despite the many mistakes you’ve made – or maybe because of those mistakes – the risks you’ve taken have become better informed, better planned, better supported, and more highly rewarded? Your “risk-taking-skill” has grown and matured just as you have. You are better at it than you were a half-century ago, than ten years ago, even than last year. Use your smarts. Use your seasoning. Use what you know to be true about yourself. Go with what you know is right for you, and go now.

Don’t say, “Later.” Today is yesterday’s later. It’s not that the right time needs to come along, it’s that you need to call today the right time.

Go forth. You have my permission. You have my deepest desire, my fervent hope, that you do.

Do it, whatever it is.

You don’t know how much later is waiting for you. You do know today is right at your hands.

Love, 

Me

The sudden appearance of that letter in my life, long after I’d forgotten the words that I’d written, gave me the push I needed to move forward on an idea I’d been mulling over for many months but that I’d let fade away. I think my advice to myself was pretty good. Lesson: When you talk to your inner self, sit up and listen.

P.S. What would you do if I sent you my letter of encouragement to take risk?

P.P.S. I just did.

I’ve Been Texting With A Dead Woman

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I’ve Been Texting With A Dead Woman

I’ve been texting with a dead woman. But let me explain…

Someone from my group of writer friends recommended a book to me. She said it was as quirky and out there as some of the work that I’ve written. 

So I got the book, and it’s unlike anything I’ve ever read before. The author, a middle-aged woman, shares thoughts that are just like mine, observations that are so very honest, and a kindness and humor and wit that constantly surprise me. The book is, like, random; little blocks of text on the sides or corners of the pages. Sometimes silly illustrations. It looks like a combo journal and doodle book, really. But somehow all the bits and pieces fit together and I keep turning the pages with delight.

This author also plants little friendship treasures throughout; her actual phone number, for one. Then an invitation to send her a text with “Hello.” Followed later by an invitation to send her a special wish, which she will make sure is put in a bottle and thrown out to sea in January, along with the wishes of everyone else who texted her. She even offers to get her first tattoo with someone else who wants to get her first tattoo; she says she’ll meet up with said person and together, they’ll get matching images permanently inked into their skin.

This last thing was really the kicker for me: I literally said out loud when I read it, “Whaaaat?!” Remember I decided to get my very first tattoo last June, the month of my birthday? Well, I haven’t done it yet. I’m still searching for the perfect design, and I’m still deciding on the perfect location on my body on which to place it.

I want to do it with her!

This moved me to take her up on her friendship offers. I paged back through the book and found the first text-message directive. From under my cozy covers late at night, I sent the first word she said to send: “Hello.” Yeah, I knew that the response I would get would be automated; I mean, it would be insane to give your phone number out to all of your readers and promise that you’ll literally, personally, text them a response. But how clever that she set this up, right? I couldn’t wait to see what she’d written for her automated reply. I mean, it was like a little finger of her book pulling out of the page and reaching across the ether to tap me on the shoulder for a miniscule, personal conversation.

And sure enough, within 5 minutes of my text, I got a response. She said, “Hi, it’s Amy. Well, it’s virtual Amy. I’m elated to share this part of the book with you. A few years ago it was a dream & now it’s a for real thing between us.”

Cool. Oh man, I thought, this Amy has got to come to Women At Woodstock!

The next text invitation followed a piece that she wrote about the sound that wine glasses make when you run your finger around the rim. She said to text ‘cheers’ to her and she’d send the sounds of three different people making their wine glasses sing.

I texted “cheers” while sitting in my car outside Starbucks before going inside to claim a table and an outlet and order a cup of soy chai to nurse while writing for the afternoon. I got a reply with a link to an audio file. First, Master Sommelier Alpana Singh made her wine glass hum; then Amy, my new author-friend, made music with her wine glass, and finally Amy’s cousin Terry Gross (really, that’s his name) shared his humming wine glass rendition. Ha. 

A couple nights later I got to the place in the book where Amy invited me, er, her reader, to send my, um, his or her, personal wish. She said to start by texting “bottle.” This I did from, again, my cozy place under the covers. In a few minutes I received this response: “please share your message of good luck now.” I burrowed in and spent more than a little time composing. I allowed myself to be as hokey and sappy as I liked. I mean, Amy, if she actually read it, would understand, right? Or anyone working for her would surely be of the same mind and forgive my unguarded thoughts? Or the computer program that spit it out – oh hell, what do I care what a computer program that processed my words would think, artificial intelligence or not?

Finally, I wrote, “I wish for the best and most spirit-guided and loving luck to my dear daughters Hannah and Sarah. Their early life was so hard. May that transform into a well of compassion and understanding from which they will forever drink love for others, which will evolve into love for self, and eventually gratitude, and finally happiness.” I clicked send, a little teary-eyed. (OK, I was actually crying.) And I felt instantly a kind of magical goodness, knowing that Amy (or her assistant or some computer program) would print out my wish, and someone would tuck it into a bottle along with other readers’ personal wishes, and she (or her assistant or whatever) would literally throw that little collective of good luck hopes, mine pressed among them, out to sea.

(Please, don’t criticize me for this. Yes, I’m an environmentalist and yes, this is adding debris to the ocean, but come on… this little bit? And it’s so poetic, you know? Maybe the wishing and the writing and the printing and the collecting together and the literal launching of it out into the waters of mother earth would cast a spell… I mean, it could, who knows?)

OK…  I know what you’re thinking. Seriously, don’t worry about me. It was late at night – the witching hour – and also I tend to think this way a lot anyway, but I assure you, I am a fully functional, if often dreamy and/or depressed and/or maudlin person. I’m fine, I tell you!

Then came the invitation to text about getting matching tattoos. Amy wrote in her book that if one was interested, one should text “tattoo.” I texted “tattoo.” 

The response was, “The experiment has ended. In September 2016 a librarian from Wisconsin drove to Chicago & we got matching ‘more’ tattoos. See them here:” and then there was a link.

Dammit! Stinging a little with jealousy and feeling a little bitter with regret for missing my chance, I clicked the link and read about how that whole event transpired. I watched Amy laugh at the camera in a tiny-bit video as the tattoo guy began working on her arm.

Then I couldn’t take it anymore, wondering about this crazy, inventive, believer-in-spells and thrower-down-of-strange-gauntlets and wisher-of-good-for-the-world woman, and I looked her up.

This is the first thing that I read: “Amy Krouse Rosenthal was” (was!?!?!) “an American author of both adult and children’s books, a short film maker, and radio show host. She is best known for her memoir Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life, her children’s picture books, and the film project ‘The Beckoning of Lovely.'”

Amy. Krouse. Rosenthal. My dear new virtual author friend, is dead?!

This beautiful woman with what I see is a beautiful family, died, tragically, of cancer, at age 51. Just 21 months ago.

At first I gaped at the news, feeling struck by tragedy. Then I was amazed and amused at my idiot self; I’ve been texting with a dead woman? And then I felt sad again.

I still feel sad.

I mean, goddamit, I know this woman. I get her. I like her. I admire her out-of-the-box creativity and her savvy use of technology to connect.  I’ve shared some of my thoughts with her, and she’s reciprocated with kindness and good thoughts and understanding. I want to be friends with her!

I comfort myself with this: Amy Krouse Rosenthal is dead, but through her printed words, my interaction with her was very real. 

Is this why I write?

(The book I read is Textbook Amy Krouse Rosenthal… not exactly a memoir. It was published seven months before she died. Read it. Then come back here and tell me in the comments section what you thought of it, and you and I can be friends. Hell, all of us who read Amy’s book and comment here can be friends!)

 

The Trending Fashion For Women Over 50: Body Shame

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The Trending Fashion For Women Over 50: Body Shame

A few months ago we ran a guest post about eating disorders by Nicole Christina, LCSW, called “The Tragedy of Body Shame,” and it drew a lot of attention; the post spiked our web traffic! Clearly, the problems of appearance, relationships with food, and body shame are plaguing our demographic. And we wear these problems like a fashion statement; whatever issues we’ve had with food throughout our lives often rise up like a tidal wave after 50 and wreak havoc with our feelings about our bodies. We wear our body shame like this season’s new style as we traverse major life changes such as menopause, aging skin, weight gain and/or distribution, health challenges like arthritis, and personal issues such as divorce, caring for elderly parents, or navigating difficult relationships with our grown children.

One of our readers, Laura Tanner Swinand, was kind enough to send us a link to another article on the same topic, which discusses the numbers of older women seeking professional help for eating disorders. The article states that potential triggers for eating disorders include low self-esteem and social pressure, which certainly can affect people of all ages – but midlife often brings additional, unique challenges that raise the chances even more. And cases are on the rise.

The Renfrew Center, which specializes in treating eating disorders, has found that over the past decade, there’s been a 42% increase in women over 35 seeking treatment for problems such as bulimia, anorexia, and binge eating disorder. These problematic behaviors over food are never healthy, but they can be especially dangerous for older women, either simply because of age or because their behaviors have been taking a toll on their bodies for decades. Extended eating disorders can lead to nutritional deficiencies, diabetes, osteoporosis, kidney problems, gastrointestinal issues, and heart disease.

Click here to read “More older women are struggling with eating disorders. Here are the warning signs.”

 

 

3 WAW Writer Alums Broadcast, Published & Recognized in One Month!

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3 WAW Writer Alums Broadcast, Published & Recognized in One Month!

It's True What They Say

It's said all the time - that if you want to succeed as a writer, you must join a writing group, share your work, and give and get support from your fellow writers.
 
Well, damned if it isn't true.
 
We writers who've shared our work and our dreams at the Women At Woodstock Writers Retreats tend to hang together all year long; to send new work out for comments and critiques, to listen to one another's struggles with a story or memoir, to share news of publishing opportunities, to bitch and moan, and above all to encourage each other to keep on writing our stories.
 
And look what happened:
 
Three Women At Woodstock Writers Retreat alums got: broadcast, published, and recognized, all in the same month!
 

Ginnah HowardGinnah Howard

Ginnah, our fearless leader of Track 1 of our Writers Retreat, performed a reading of "Tupperware Story," an excerpt from her novel Rope & Bone, A Novel in Stories as part of a podcast aired on "The Strange Recital."  See below for a teaser and a link to the podcast.
 

Ann StoneyAnn Stoney

Ann's short story, "Soldiers and Lovers" was placed on the "Highly Commended" list for the Sean O'Faolain International Short Story prize. The competition is sponsored by the Munster Literature Center in Cork, Ireland. Just 32 stories were selected from 900 entries. Although the story has yet to be published, it's quite an honor to be selected for the list.

Ann Voorhees BakerAnn Voorhees Baker

Ann's (yes, that's me) short story, "Midnight In the Garden of Sid and Eva," will be published in the fall edition of the Chicago Quarterly Review. This is her second short story publication this year; her first, "Changing Lanes" was published last spring in the Noyo River Review. Ann also was awarded a one-week writer's residency this coming spring at the Dorland Mountain Arts Colony.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
motorcycle - Rope & Bone illus(From Rope & Bone, A Novel in Stories by Ginnah Howard.)  Originally published in Square Lake as "Circling-'84"
Other things are on my mind when the Tupperware lady says, “First, let’s move your couch over by the door and the table here.”
 
Before her words reach my brain, she’s got one end of that maroon monster, a cast-off from Steve’s mother, waist high and swinging away from the wall. Vaguely I register the crap underneath: a package of zig-zags, a pizza crust, a dried puddle of something.
 
“Get under it good,” she directs.
 
And just like that, I’ve got the other end up. I believe in those mothers who lift cars to free trapped children.
 
“You know,” she says, as she backs me toward the corner, “a successful Tupperware party doesn’t just happen; it has to be orchestrated.”
 
This is what they all keep telling me: all those teachers all those years, the judge, last week. Like it can all be organized into an outline:
 
I. Get Straight
    A. Your Drawers
    B. Your Life
 
"Okay," the Tupperware lady says, "put it down right there."
 
As I'm trying to remember what comes next 1. or a., she says, "While you you get the vacuum, I'll start clearing the records off the table. They'll be here in an hour."
 
    a. Radically change
      1. Do what other mothers do
 
It's this kind of outline thinking that got me into having a Tupperware party in the first place. Me, Carla Morletti, once a distinguished member of the Pagans Motorcycle Club Women's Auxiliary, taking directions from this middle-class matron in a flowered shirtwaist in my own living room...
 

A Week-Long Writer’s Residency. Heaven.

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Dorland Mountain Arts Colony

It’s true that if you surround yourself with people who are doing what you want to do, and who care about you and encourage you, it can alter your course. It’s been true for me. Ever since I started hosting the Women At Woodstock Writers Retreat years ago, I’ve had ongoing conversations with writers from all over the country about their work, and mine; about opportunities and techniques; about the possibilities of life as a writer. One of those many inspiring and encouraging women told me about the Dorland Mountain Arts Colony and the residencies they offer. She urged me to apply.

So I did.

The application required not only a writing sample and a writer’s statement, but letters of recommendation. I asked two of my writer friends, both published authors with several novels to their names, and both of whom have read and critiqued my work. They jumped to and submitted their recommendation letters within days.

I feel so lucky to announce that Dorland offered me a week-long writer’s residency this coming spring. In March, I will be right here, looking out over the mountains, writing in solitude. Heaven. With my first published short story to my name – “Changing Lanes,” published earlier this year in the Noyo River Review, and now this residency, I think I’m actually on my way as a writer. This is what I said I wanted to do. This is what I’ve been encouraged to do by my fellow writers in the Women At Woodstock community, by my husband, and by my daughters. And this is what I am doing. I may not be a New York Times bestselling author (yet!), but I couldn’t be happier or more grateful.

She Left Corporate Life to Become a Novelist

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She Left Corporate Life to Become a Novelist

And how do you think that worked out for her? Sounds like a pipe dream, right?

Well, Helen Matthews made it work. Her debut novel, After Leaving the Village, became a best-seller, and was the winner of the Winchester Writers’ Festival prize for the opening pages of a novel.  She’s now published a second novel, Lies Behind the Ruin. Listen to this podcast, hosted by Fab After Fifty, in which Helen talks about:

  • How she transitioned from full-time employment to writing for a living and the issues she had to address.
  • How she came up with the idea for her first book which involved intensive research into the topic.
  • How characters develop and ‘speak’ to the writer.
  • The topics she brought to life in her novel  – various types of deceit in relationships – including financial deceit and the impact that can have on a relationship.
  • Three tips for transitioning from corporate life to writing – and still being able to pay the bills.

Click here to listen.

Do you aspire to become a novelist, essayist, memoirist, or successful blogger? Register for the Women At Woodstock Writers Retreat. Deadline to register is October 1.

“Worst Ex Stories” Has Grown Into an Anthology Project!

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"Worst Ex Stories" Will Be Published in Women At Woodstock's First Anthology This Spring

If you've been watching our posts here at Women At Woodstock, you know that one of our workshops this year will be the entertaining and also healing workshop, "Worst Ex Stories," in which women will read their stories of relationship mishaps, mistreatments, missteps, and just plain crazy behavior. We expect it to be an entertaining evening as we read and share these bits of our lives; sometimes tragic, sometimes funny, sometimes jaw-dropping.

So, originally we announced that only those who are attending may submit their stories, but we've gotten so much interest from women who can't come to Woodstock this year that we've made the decision to open up submissions to anyone who wants to share her story. And, we will be publishing the best of these stories in our first Women At Woodstock Anthology - "Worst Ex Stories" - composed of true stories from women from all over the country.

Do You Have a Worst Ex Story to Tell?

Do you want to submit your story for consideration? Please do! We've brought together a small group of editors who will read your submissions and select the most amazing ones for the collection, to be published in the spring of 2020. The published book will be available in both Kindle and print.

Deadline: February 15, 2020

The winning story will be awarded a prize of $150.
Winner and runners up will be published in the Anthology
and will receive a complimentary copy of the book.

Women who are registered for Women At Woodstock 2019
may submit their story for free; those who are not attending 
may submit their story for a reading fee of $35.

This will be the inaugural edition of an annual collection of stories from Women At Woodstock, in which we will share our true stories, offer our wisdom, and, we hope, illuminate the future for the generations of women following behind us. This is mentoring with a capital M - mentoring for life, for self-awareness, for self-preservation, for choosing our own direction and living life at its best.

New Kudos for Ginnah Howard’s Works

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Here’s some impressive news about one of our Women At Woodstock presenters; author Ginnah Howard, who will be leading our Writers Colony (Track I) at the Women At Woodstock Writers Retreat this coming fall:

George Hovis, the author of The Skin Artist (Southern Fried Chicken, 2019) just posted the following review of Ginnah’s novel Rope & Bone, on Goodreads. There’s nothing better than having a respected author sing praises to your work, is there? 

Here’s George’s review:

Rope & Bone: A Novel in Stories
by Ginnah Howard (Goodreads Author)

This remarkable novel of stories recounts the friendship of two strong women, Del and Carla, as they choose mates, lose mates, and navigate the challenges of single motherhood. Ginnah Howard has that rare gift of illuminating life moment by moment, showing us how, often, fate can turn upon a choice as simple as choosing to feed a lover’s dogs rather than giving a daughter the attention she needs. As with Alice Munro’s, Howard’s stories somehow create a sense that the stakes are always enormously high without ever seeming to depend upon plot. Yet, plot is there in every breath these characters take, from planning a Tupperware party to attending an AA meeting. Ginnah Howard’s characters live on every page!

Ginnah Howard

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Ginnah Howard‘s work has appeared in Water~Stone Review, Permafrost, Portland Review, Descant 145, Eleven Eleven Journal, The Tusculum Review, and elsewhere. Several stories have been nominated for a Pushcart Prize. Night Navigation, Book 2 of her upstate novel trilogy, (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2009), was a New York Times Book Review Editors’ Choice. Chronogram called Book 3, Doing Time Outside (Standing Stone Books, 2013), “a beautiful read.”  Book 1 of the trilogy, Rope & Bone: A Novel in Stories (Illume, 2014) was listed by Publishers Weekly as one of the “best of the best” Indie books of 2015. In her latest book, I’m Sick of This Already: At-Risk Learning in a High School Class, Howard focuses on a year of working with students in a small rural town. For further information, visit GinnahHoward.com

We’re very happy that Ginnah will be returning this year to teach a daily morning workshop for the Writers in Process track of the Writers Retreat, for women who have a work in progress and want to write intensively for the weekend under the guidance of a writing coach, who will advise on all aspects of writing and finishing a completed manuscript and readying it for publication.